Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
