i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
