I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
