I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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