I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
