You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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