Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
