and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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