I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
