I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
