Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
