but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
