hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i permit you to call me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
