i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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