Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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