It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
