why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
