I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize