I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
