He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
