..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
