I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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