So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
