He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i drank out of a bidet.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
