I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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