it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize