We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
