Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
