I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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