we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
