I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
