Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
