please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
