We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
