you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
