it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
