He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
