i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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