Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
