Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Two words: nipple clamps
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