You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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