He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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