Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
