This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
