If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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