haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
