Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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