so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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