And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
