Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
