So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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