I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
