sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize