if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
