I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize