Ambien. No doubt about it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
it was like having sex with a tree stump
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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