he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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