Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize