Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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