My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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