that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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