I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
