office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
