i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
