My Higher Power is John Stamos
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
