I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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