I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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