8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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