I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
