i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
